


Every Village Has An Idiot

by DodgerBear



Category: God’s Own Country
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 17:22:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18609091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DodgerBear/pseuds/DodgerBear
Summary: Gheorghe escorts Deirdre to her weekly bingo night and meets the village idiot.





	Every Village Has An Idiot

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please drop me a line and let me know what you think 🧡

The weekend wasn’t going the way Johnny hoped. The weather was horrendous, making even the simplest of tasks on the farm take twice as long as normal. Martin was poorly and laid up in bed with a heavy cold. Deirdre was exhausted from all the running around she was doing for her son as well as her usual jobs around the house. Gheorghe was losing patience with Johnny’s short temper and was doing his best to manage his boyfriend’s stress levels. 

“I just wanted one night off...one night to tek you out somewhere.” Johnny pouted while the two men worked to brush out and swill the barn. 

Gheorghe sighed and leaned his brush against the wall. “John, there will be other nights. I am not going anywhere. You should relax now.”

Johnny huffed and carried on working so Gheorghe took matters into his own hands. He stalked closer to his boyfriend and slipped his arms around his waist. When their bodies were pressed up together he gently rolled his hips. 

“Tonight I will make you relax.” He murmured and pressed a teasing kiss to Johnny’s neck. 

Johnny held onto his bad mood for a moment longer but couldn’t make it last. He grinned at the tickling sensation of Gheorghe’s stubble on his sensitive skin. 

“There is the smile I love.” Gheorghe whispered. 

Johnny grabbed Gheorghe by the upper arms and pushed him against the barn door, ravishing him with a hard kiss. “Sometimes you just got t’let me be in a mood. I’ll come out o’it in me own time.”

Gheorghe scoffed and shook his head. “I don’t think I will live long enough to see that happen.”

Johnny huffed in annoyance and shoved at Gheorghe’s chest. “Funny fucker.”

“Why waste time being mad when we can be doing something more fun?”

Their lips met again and Johnny completely lost the fight he’d been battling all day. He kissed Gheorghe like it was the last time he’d ever have the pleasure. Gheorghe returned it with the passion of a man that knew his partner inside and out. Finally the need to breathe forced them to part and they gasped into each other’s mouths as they caught their breath. 

“Next weekend. We go out.” Gheorghe conceded softly. 

Johnny gazed into his eyes and saw the promise Gheorghe was sharing. He nodded once and moved back from his boyfriend. 

“Alright. Let’s get finished up.”

Gheorghe grinned and picked up his brush. “Okay. We will finish this later.”

 

Gheorghe didn’t disappoint and Johnny spent the last hour of the day seeing stars behind his eyes. They had keep the noise down in their tiny bedroom so the other occupants of the house didn’t hear them, but they had perfected the art of passionate, quiet fucking over the last year. The upcoming week on the farm was going to be tough and the men knew they wouldn’t have time to do this for another few days. Johnny had to visit an auction house near the Scottish border and Martin needed to attend a physiotherapy assessment centre on the following day in Newcastle. They were going to combine the two and spend the night away from the farm, leaving Gheorghe and Deirdre to keep on top of things at home. So the couple were making the most of the time they had now. 

“You feel so good.” Johnny whispered into the darkness of the room. 

Gheorghe hitched his legs higher around Johnny’s hips and deepened the angle, exhaling harshly when Johnny jabbed at that sweet spot inside of him that seemingly held the answer to the meaning of life. 

“So deep, John.” He stuttered and gripped his lover’s back to hold him in place. 

A sheen of sweat on their skin slicked them both up. They moved against each other in a dance they knew by heart. 

“Close, love. So close.” Johnny mumbled a warning.  

“Yes. Now John. Now.”

They came pretty much simultaneously. Johnny buried himself deep inside Gheorghe, on the verge of passing out from lack of oxygen to his brain. Gheorghe sprayed the majority of his upper body in his own release, feeling it clinging to his chest hair and knowing it would be a nightmare to clean off if he let it dry. 

“Love you.” Johnny murmured sleepily into Gheorghe’s neck. 

“Love you too. Get up so I can clean myself.” Gheorghe chuckled and kissed Johnny’s jawline. 

“Comfy.”

“John...I just changed the sheets this morning. Please let us have one night in a clean bed before we mess it up.” He giggled. 

Johnny laughed along too. “Alright. God, you’re so bossy.”

“Do not pretend you don’t like it.” Gheorghe teased and slapped Johnny’s pale arse when he moved off the bed. 

“Wouldn’t dream o’it.” Johnny grinned and shamelessly ogled his man as he crept out of the bedroom and along to the bathroom. 

 

“There you go, lad. Eat up while it’s hot.” Deirdre placed the plate of mince and dumplings in front of Gheorghe when he emerged from the hallway, fresh out of the shower and ready to settle in for a quiet night. 

“Thank you Deirdre.” He flashed a mega-watt smile and gently squeezed her shoulder. She preened at his gratitude. It was something he was very particular about and over the time he’d been in a relationship with Johnny it passed on to him too. Sometimes at least. 

“What time would you like me to take you into the village?” Gheorghe asked when he remembered it was bingo night at the village hall and she needed a lift. Deirdre was a regular there once a week when she met up with her friend Betty, a fellow widow she had known for many years. 

Deirdre shook her head. “I’m not goin’ tonight. Betty isn’t well. That bloody flu goin around.”

“Oh that’s a shame. I hope she is well soon.” He acknowledged. “You know other people there?”

She shrugged slightly and he could sense her disappointment. She rarely went anywhere or did anything that wasn’t related to the farm. It had been a long time since she socialised in the village and Betty was probably her only real friend. 

“Would you like me to come along with you?” He asked while concentrating on cutting into the large fluffy dumpling on his plate. 

Deirdre gaped at him. “You’d do that?”

Gheorghe grinned. “Of course I would!”

Her shocked expression changed to a wicked smirk. “I’ll be the talk o’the village turnin up with a good lookin lad like you.”

Gheorghe snorted derisively and forked more food into his mouth. “I am not sure that will be the reason.”

“Oh aye?” Deirdre set her mouth in a grimly determined line. “Let’s see eh.”

 

The bingo hall wasn’t very big and only felt smaller when Gheorghe walked in with Deirdre. His tall, muscular frame next to her tiny, petite body drew a lot of eyes, some of which narrowed in recognition when they realised who had just arrived. 

“Over here, love.” Deirdre led the way to her usual spot in the corner. 

Gheorghe followed demurely and sat opposite her. He smiled cheerfully at the numbered cards on the table. 

“I have never played bingo before.”

Deirdre cackled like he’d told the funniest joke. “Are you jokin? Never?”

He shook his head. “It is not something to do in my village. Maybe in the cities and towns. You will show me how to play?”

Deirdre smiled softly at the man she’d grown to love over the time he’d been with the family. “Of course I will.”

 

Gheorghe ignored the stares. He didn’t say anything to Deirdre but he knew she wasn’t stupid by any means. She knew these people and she knew their mentality. He would never insult her by suggesting she hadn’t noticed the room full of people staring at them like Saxby woman had brought a circus freak to a social event. It was easy to forget everything else when he was on the farm. He had his work and he had his John. That’s all that mattered to him. He could happily live with those things alone for the rest of his life. Having a good relationship with Martin and Deirdre was a fantastic bonus and made living on the farm a pleasant and comfortable existence. It was only these occasions, when he ventured away from that existence, that he was reminded of what he really was...a foreigner...an immigrant...an outsider. 

 

Deirdre moved into the seat beside Gheorghe and showed him the cards, quietly and patiently explaining how to play the game. He nodded along in understanding and took the pen he was offered. 

“Now lad, you better not beat me to any winnings with your beginner’s luck.” She warned him with a stern wag of her finger. 

Gheorghe giggled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side for a hug. “Thank you Deirdre.”

She patted his stubbled cheek. “You’re a good un.”

The game was about to begin so Deirdre got serious and picked up her pen. Gheorghe followed and waited for the first number. 

 

Gheorghe had not anticipated the speed the numbers would be called. He tried to keep up but they were all merging into one and was completely lost. When Josie from the corner shop called house a few minutes later Gheorghe was relieved and sat back in his seat and huffed out the breath he’d been holding the whole time he was playing. 

“You play this every week? How have you not had a heart attack yet?” He grinned at Deirdre, who burst into laughter and nudged his ribs with her elbow. 

“You get used to how fast it goes.”

Gheorghe didn’t get used to. By the end of the first session he was frazzled and hadn’t managed to mark his card properly even once. Deirdre tried to help him out by reaching over to mark a number when he missed one but overall he was a disaster. 

“Come on. Let’s get a cuppa in the break.” She nudged his shoulder and he followed her to the foyer. 

 

Gheorghe stirred his tea slowly and glanced around the room. It was about 90% women. The few men that were there had taken the opportunity to gather in a group and chat. 

“You spoken to John today?” Deirdre asked conversationally. 

Gheorghe couldn’t help the smile forming on his lips. “He rang this morning when you were feeding the cows. Not for long. Just checking in.”

Deirdre nodded. “Good for them to get away for a bit. Even if it is work and hospital.”

“Yes.” Gheorghe sipped his tea. 

“You two should get away for a bit. Can’t just be on t’farm all the time. Not healthy.”

He smirked at her. “I like the farm.”

“Aye. But you need time away from all that. You and John. It’s important you know. Findin’ stuff you can have that’s not just work.” She explained gruffly. 

“Yes. I understand. I like to spend time with John, it does not matter where that is. The land is so large and so beautiful. We take walks. We swim in the water. It is not all work.” Gheorghe quietly defended his relationship with Johnny. He understood completely where Deirdre was coming from but she had to realise that life was easier when he could enjoy time with his partner away from prying eyes. The same prying eyes that were watching his interactions with Deirdre like a hawk right now. Did they think he was going to steal her purse from under their noses?

“Aye well...there’s a big world out there, lad. You two are young enough to see some o’it. You should tek him to where you’re from. Meet your lot.” She smirked. 

Gheorghe nearly choked on his drink. “I am not sure John is ready for that. I do not want to scare him.”

“Are you ready for it?” Deirdre asked archly and smiled when Gheorghe nodded shyly. 

“He is too. You’ve made him happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen ‘im. Got a lot t’thank you for.”

Gheorghe blushed and hid it behind his cup while he drained his tea. He took their empty cups back to the makeshift bar that was set up in the foyer and placed them on the table. 

“Just complainin’ bout the hike in fertiliser costs this year. Bloody joke.” A gravelly voice to the left of Gheorghe spoke abruptly. 

Gheorghe turned, unsure if it was aimed at him, and smiled shyly when he saw the owner of the farm closest to the Saxby land standing beside him. 

“Yes. We were saying the same last week. It is going to cripple us soon.” Gheorghe agreed. 

The man held out his hand. “George Parsons.”

Gheorghe smiled at him broadly and returned the handshake. “We have the same name. Only in my country it is Gheorghe. Gheorghe Ionescu.”

“Which country’s that then?”

“Romania.” Gheorghe ducked his head in anticipation for the negative response he usually received when he talked about his homeland. 

“Long way from home, lad. How’re findin’ it over here? Enjoyin’ the weather I expect.” George said teasingly. 

Gheorghe scoffed a laugh. “I like England very much. Yorkshire is very beautiful. The weather...not so much.”

Deirdre was craning her neck to look over at him so he flashed her a reassuring smile. She relaxed and winked at him discreetly. 

“You bring Deirdre here?”

“Yes. Her friend is sick. I did not want her to miss out.”

George smiled broadly. “Good lad. She’s a tough old boot but once you get used t’her she’s got a heart o’gold.”

“Yes. But then she has experienced a lot to make her so tough.” Gheorghe acknowledged the truth in his words but he didn’t want this George to think Deirdre was hard-faced just for the fun of it. 

“Aye lad. That’s the truth. Rotten hand she’s bin dealt.” George clicked his tongue in agreement. 

Curiosity got the better of Deirdre and she stalked across the room to join the men. 

“Hello Deirdre, love. Your ears burnin’?” George greeted with a smirk. 

Gheorghe frowned at Deirdre and she laughed. “Means you were talkin about me.”

Gheorghe grinned and nodded. “I was explaining why I am here.”

“Oh aye?” Her eyes sparkled with mischief. “I can’t enjoy a night out wi’me toyboy can I not?”

Gheorghe snorted loudly and laughed heartily. “Of course you can.”

George regarded them carefully and smiled at their playful banter. “Found a good un here Deirdre.”

She pursed her lips and nodded. “Happen he found us when we needed him, not the other way round.”

With a gentle hand on his wrist Deirdre indicated she was ready to sit down. Gheorghe nodded to his new acquaintance and excused them. They made their way back to their seats and Deirdre sat down beside him. 

“Easier to mark your card this way. Me eyes aren’t so good upside down.” She smirked cheekily. 

Gheorghe sighed and shook his head. “It is good that bingo is not needed to work on a farm. I would need new career very soon.”

“Don’t you dare go gettin any ideas about new careers.” She warned with a grin. “You and John somehow managed to keep that place afloat last year. We need a miracle again this year.”

Gheorghe patted her hand tenderly. “You are going to be fine. The farm is good.”

“ _We_ are goin to be fine. It’s your place too. We’ll see you right.”

Gheorghe bowed his head and nodded. 

“Poppin t’loo before we start again.” Deirdre said and abruptly left their table. 

 

Gheorghe idly scrolled through his phone while he waited alone. The village was the only place he got consistent signal so he used the time to catch up on what was going on back home, usually by using social media. A shadow covered the table and he looked up. A woman he recognised as the wife of the village postman was glaring down at him. 

“Hello ma’am.” He nodded in greeting. 

“What’s your game eh?” She snapped. 

His face clouded over. “I’m sorry?”

“You coming here with Mrs Saxby. What’s your game? You after summat from her?”

“I don’t understand. What would I want?” Gheorghe frowned and twisted his hands anxiously. 

“Money, o’course! Followin’ her here to dip your hand in her purse, no doubt!”

Gheorghe was about to protest his innocence when a furious Deirdre appeared beside the table. 

“How dare you speak to him like that Connie Belmont! How _dare_ you? Gheorghe brought me here so I could have me usual night out, cuz he’s a kind-hearted gentleman. He’s got more morals than you’ve got frilly knickers! How bloody dare you speak to my family like that! You of all people, or are we forgettin’ your Billy was under investigation for packages goin missing on his rounds just last year? _He_ wouldn’t know morals if someone posted them through his front bloody door! Get your poisonous arse away from here right now before I find a new place to stick my foot.”

Johnny had told Gheorghe repeatedly since they met that his grandmother was a force to be reckoned with when she was angry, but he’d never experienced it quite like he did that night. He was torn between wanted to slide under the table to hide and giving her a standing ovation. His blush rose to his hairline and he couldn’t move from his seat even if he tried. 

“Family?” Connie choked out. “You adopt dogs, not fully grown men.”

Deirdre squared her shoulders back and pointed her finger in Connie’s face. “He’s my family, you hear me? Him and our John are gettin’ wed. That makes him my family. And if you know owt about me, Connie Belmont, it’s that I would fight t’death for my boys. That includes him. So thank you very much fer your misguided concerns. Now bugger off.” She spat angrily. 

Connie got the hint and scurried to the back of the room and sat down. Deirdre glared around the room at the sea of faces that were transfixed on the spectacle in front of them. 

“Anyone else got owt to add? No? Good. Now let’s get on w’bingo eh?” She snapped and took her seat next to a rigid Gheorghe. 

She reached under the table and squeezed his hand. “You’re alright lad. Come on.”

He gazed at her with a tiny smile on his face. “What made you say John and I are to be married?”

Deirdre laughed cheerfully. “Cuz you will be. When he gets the courage up t’ask you.”

Gheorghe gaped at her. “You think so?”

Deirdre tapped her nose. “I know so.”

 

The second session of bingo was less disastrous than the first but Gheorghe still didn’t win anything. Deirdre didn’t either but she smiled magnanimously when Doris from the old mining cottages won the big prize and nearly passed out from shock. They got ready to leave and made it all the way to the exit when a booming voice called out Gheorghe’s name, only mildly butchering the pronunciation. It was George, his new acquaintance from earlier. 

“Don’t pay her no mind lad. Some folk are so stuck in’t past they miss what’s really goin on in front of em. Every village has its idiot. I’m sorry you met ours. But I hope we see you in t’village more often.”

Gheorghe smiled shyly. “Thank you.”

“You and John eh?” George mused with a smirk on his face. “Bout time he settled down fer good.”

Gheorghe blushed at the mention of his boyfriend. He nodded politely and led Deirdre out to the car park. 

 

The drive home was quiet, the radio turned right down to a mumble over the noise from the road. 

“I’m sorry you have t’put up with that crap.” Deirdre sighed heavily. 

Gheorghe cut his gaze to the left and smiled softly. “People fear what they do not understand.”

“People should mind their own bloody business.”

“Perhaps. But she thought she was protecting you. In her very strange way.”

“How can you defend her? She was vile to you, love.”

Gheorghe sighed. “It is difficult. It is a generation thing sometimes. They do not trust my motives. She did not know I am more than just a worker on your farm.”

“You’re much more than that.”

Gheorghe reached for her hand and held on tightly. “I know. You make me feel like I am your family. John and Martin too. That is more important to me than what they say in the village. Please do not feel bad on my behalf.”

Deirdre nodded in defeat and patted the back of his hand. “Alright.”

“And if it makes you feel better, if it were John and my grandmother together in my village...people would probably think the same things.” Gheorghe grinned. 

“Aye.” She conceded. “But I bet they’ve got the good manners and decency to keep them thoughts to themselves.”

Gheorghe giggled. “Some. Not all.”

 

Johnny and Martin returned the following evening and the older man was so exhausted he fell asleep almost immediately. Once he was tucked up in bed Deirdre excused herself too. The couple knew it was to allow them some time alone. Thoughts swirled through Gheorghe’s mind from the night before. He wanted to believe they could live forever on the farm without needing to venture very far but he knew that wasn’t realistic. When Johnny curled up beside him on the sofa Gheorghe kissed his shoulder tenderly. 

“Would you like to visit my country? For a weekend perhaps. I think I would like for you to meet my family.”

Johnny tensed and turned to look at Gheorghe. “You sure?”

The darker man smiled sweetly. “I am sure.”

“Alright then. Yeah.” Johnny smiled back shakily. 

It didn’t matter how old you got, meeting your boyfriend’s family was still scary. 

“Do I need to learn Romanian?” Johnny gasped. 

“You mean more than just the rude words you know now?” Gheorghe teased. 

“Aye. Can’t very well introduce meself to yer mam and ask her to suck me cock can I?”

Gheorghe swatted Johnny on the backside. “Do not put those thoughts in my mind John!”

The pair giggled and shuffled to get comfortable on the small sofa. 

“My family all speak good English. My mother is an English teacher, remember?”

“I remember. Reckon she might be able to teach me a thing or two.” Johnny chuckled. 

“I love you, John. I love this farm. I love your family.” Gheorghe whispered softly. “I am happy here with you.”

“Love you too, you soft shite.” Johnny reached up to kiss his boyfriend. 

“I do not love bingo.” Gheorghe added almost as an afterthought when they finished kissing. 

“What?” Johnny frowned in confusion. 

“It is a long story. Nan will tell you all about it at breakfast tomorrow. It will give her lots of laughter I think. Now...I have missed you. Come to bed?”

Johnny, although still utterly confused about why Gheorghe was on about bingo, was never going to turn down an invitation for an early night with his man. 

“Come on then. Just to warn you mind, I’m knackered off that trip so you’re gonna have to do the fuckin tonight.” Johnny smirked teasingly and darted up the stairs to their bedroom, leaving Gheorghe staring after him with his jaw trailing the floor. 

“I’m going to marry that man.” He mumbled under his breath with absolute conviction as he checked the doors were locked and ran to catch up with his love. 

 

Gheorghe didn’t have to wait long. Johnny finally got the courage to ask him the biggest question of their lives just a few months later when they were spending the day sight seeing in Bucharest after visiting the Ionescu family farm. He said yes immediately, even before the words were fully out of Johnny’s mouth. Gheorghe had known for a long time that he was ready to marry his John. Now it was a reality and all the Connie Belmonts in the world couldn’t say anything that would change his mind. 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
